


a storm you wish to drown in - Wilbur Soot Oneshot

by haIcyon



Series: "abditory" - all my depressing oneshots. [4]
Category: mcyt
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Assisted Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Instability, Metaphors, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29123088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haIcyon/pseuds/haIcyon
Summary: Wilbur deals with an abusive relationshiporme venting.
Series: "abditory" - all my depressing oneshots. [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129313
Kudos: 9





	a storm you wish to drown in - Wilbur Soot Oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> read tws in tags

wilbur grew up like a storm crashing down on earth with nothing to hold onto. he was swallowed by the waves as a child and grew up with nothing but the wish to finally breath.  
a child of rage, burning in passion for every word he sang, clinging onto any possible reason not to be shoved away, a possibility to reach the air his lungs so desperatly needed. so when he came along, wilbur welcomed him with open arms.  
he was his life line - a heavy object wilbur could cling onto, something to make him reach the air. but malicious intend only reveals itself in time.  
god was he lovely in the beginning. late night talks about live, synchronizing their sleep schedules and getting to know every little detail about him. he loved, and he thought this was what breathing feels like.  
but then he choked.  
the first time he had been a comment, and over time wilbur didnt like looking into the mirror anymore. his world blurred inbetween "i love you"s and "why dont you kill yourself"s, the storm turned into a tornado of sticking with the person you love while learning to hate yourself. every word that left wilburs mouth was wrong. everything wilbur did was a mistake.  
abusive, in a way that he was a puppet, a thing on a string, his price his life.  
wilbur had trusted him, so much, that he knew every little detail and every little secret. threats soon dropped in, hitting him like stone flying though the air. his phone was burning, too hot to touch, but satan pressed it into his hands. 

was this what love was like?  
being held tightly one moment, then being set on fire in the next?  
he lid the gas just like he had to make wilbur explode. a pretty fire, controlled by his hands.

he looked pretty, with tired eyes and scars around his arms  
beautifully broken with bruises burning in his side.

one day, wilbur realised.  
and promises were made.  
how often do we have to hear that people will change? change, an empty promise of nothing but turning the other way.  
nothing came with change.  
so wilbur did what he had to do - he left.  
endless calls, friends, threats and loving promises were made, and god, wilbur wanted to drown so deeply.  
he turned away, one step at a time.  
he was alone again.  
and sometimes he wondered if he should just go back,  
he so deeply wanted to drown again. if the only love he deserved, was a love with painful threats,  
if the only person that stuck to him was asking him to end it all,  
maybe it should he this way.  
maybe it was his fault.  
he made people leave, he was at fault for his lover hating him so deeply, he shouldve been greatful that, at least, he stayed.  
a twisted manifested itself, a trade of sorts, where was someone when he did wrong? didnt he need to be hurt, to be shown his place? how can he stop regretting, how shall he be forgiven if not by paying his dept? for months after, wilbur was alone.  
wilbur, who loved speaking about his emotions, speaking to people.  
Wilbur the extrovert,  
now shattered on the floor, closed away, away alone.  
speaking about himself scared him.  
his emotions scared him.  
god, did love scare him.  
he swam inbetween not deserving any love and grasping for any kind of oxygen,  
disgusting, painful, fading away.  
undeserving of anything good.  
no more music,  
no more food,  
hopefully - soon to be,  
no more.


End file.
